詩集-005 大腸鏡

大腸鏡 年過五十攏知，定期做大腸鏡檢查 愛喝歸桶藥水，嘿味呴人叫毋敢 漏嘎叫爸叫母，腹肚一直絞 挫到屎水透明，折磨猶未煞 到病院愛麻醉，脫褲呴人看 趁我不知，尻川䫌位兩邊撥 管子插進去，佇屎坑斟酌啊查 若是沒漏乾淨，因攏知我昨晚吃啥 阿娘偎呀～ 阿娘偎呀～ 足多男同攏知，ＸＸ之前愛清煞 對彼來講，常常佇做大腸鏡 不是大家都好運，有湯常常ＸＸ ＸＸ排佇床頭，暗時好好啊喇 你哪是卡無膽，小支一吋一吋車 癮頭大的吃重鹹，ＸＸ嘛毋哩驚 真的假的是有差，ＸＸ常喇卡袂疼 大小凊采人，家己有爽卡快活 阿娘偎呀～ 阿娘偎呀～ 有的直男真好奇，後壁是勒爽安怎 ＸＸ不敢排，會癢就想縫想鍥 欲爽生創意，ＸＸ,ＸＸ,ＸＸX 手滑一下挖袂出，病院急診定哩看 你哪問他是為啥，吞吞吐吐毋敢寫 面青筍筍滿身汗，只講他是肚子痛 趴在病床醫生看，透視光照就知影 性癖呴知變笑柄，理由怪奇呴人叫阿娘 阿娘偎呀～ 阿娘偎呀～

Tuā-tn̂g-kiànn Nî-kuè ngōo-tsap lóng tsai, tîng-kî tsuè tuā-tn̂g-kiànn kiam-tsat Ài lim kui-thóng io̍h-tsuí, he bī hōo lâng kiò-m̄-kánn Làu kah kiò-pē-kiò-bú, pak-tóo it-ti̍t ká Tshua̍h kah sái-tsuí thàu-bîng, tsiat-buâ iáu-buè-suah Kàu pīnn-înn ài mâ-tsuì, thǹg-khòo hōo lâng khuànn Thàn guá m̄-tsai, kha-tshng-phuè uī nn̄g-pinn puah Kòng-á tshah--jīp-khì, tī sái-khang tsim-tsiok-á tshat Nā-sī bô làu tshing-khì, in lóng tsai guá tsa-hám tsiah siánn A-niâ-uē-iah! A-niâ-uē-iah! Tsiok tsuē lâm-tông lóng tsai, hōo tshah tsi-tsîng ài tshing-suah Tuì in lâi kóng, tiānn-tiānn tī tsuè tuā-tn̂g-kiànn M̄-sī ta̍k-ke lóng hó-ūn, ū thàng tiānn-tiānn hōo tshah Ké-lān pàng tī tshn̂g-thâu, àm-sî hó-hó-á lâ Lí nā-sī khah bô-tánn, sió-ki tsi̍t-tshùn-tsi̍t-tshùn tshia In-thâu tuā ê tsiah-tang-kiâm, kûn-thâu má bô--lih kiann Tsinn ê ké ê sī ū tsha, kha-tshng tiānn lâ khah buè thiann Tuā-sió tshín-tshái lâng, ka-tī ū sóng khah khuìnn-ua̍h A-niâ-uē-iah! A-niâ-uē-iah! Ū-ê ti̍t-lâm tsin hònn-kî, āu-piah sī leh sóng-án-nuá Ké-lān m̄-kánn pâi, ē tsiūnn tsiū siūnn-phāng siūnn-khia̍t Buè sóng senn tshòng-ì, khóo-kue tsiú-kan loo-lái-bà Tshiú-ku̍t tsi̍t-ē óo buè tshut, pīnn-înn kip-tsín tiānn-lí khuànn Lí ài mn̄g in sī uī-siánn, thun-thun-thòo-thòo m̄-kánn siá Bīn tshenn-sún-sún buán-sin kuānn, tsí kóng i sī pak-tóo-thiann Phê tī pīnn-tshn̂g i-sing khuànn, thàu-sī-kong tsiò tsiū tsai-iánn Sìng-phiah hōo tsai piàn tshiò-pîng, lí-iû kuài-kî hōo lâng kiò A-niâ A-niâ-uē-iah! A-niâ-uē-iah!

Colonoscopy (Oh Mother!) Past fifty we all know, regular colonoscopy is the test. Drinking a whole gallon of prep, a taste no one can digest. Cursing parents while you run, stomach twisting in a knot. Watery stools turning clear, the torture never stops its plot. At the hospital you’re sedated, pants down for all to see. While I am unconscious, they part my cheeks for the degree. The tube goes sliding in, searching the sewer with a glare. If you didn't flush it clean, they'll know exactly what was there. OH MOTHER! OH MOTHER! Many gay men know, before the X you must clean. For them, it’s a routine view, an interior scene. Not everyone is so lucky, to have a X so frequent. Toys lined up on the nightstand, X the night’s event. If you are the timid type, X X inch by inch. But the heavy-hitters play hard, they don't even flinch. Real or fake makes a difference, practice keeps the pain away. Big or small, it's up to you, as long as you enjoy the play. OH MOTHER! OH MOTHER! Some straight men are curious, how the pleasure feels backside. Too shy to buy X X, they itch for a secret ride. Unsatisfied, they get creative: bitter gourd, wine bottle, screwdriver. A slip of the hand and it's stuck, an emergency room survivor. You ask them why it happened, they stutter and cannot write. Turning pale and breaking sweat, "stomach ache" is the lie they cite. Face down on the doctor's table, the X-ray shows the fright. Kink turned into a joke, "OH MOTHER!" is the scream of the night. OH MOTHER! OH MOTHER!