台語 (Taiwanese)
閹雞
出世兩個月，ＸＸ就予人割。
自此天光毋免啼，逐工睏飽飽。
雞母毋值伊痟狂，飼料恬恬仔食。
免生卵嘛免相拍，雞牢內算伊上好命。
雞公翹尾常仝歹，臭屁閣囂俳。
飼料閹雞伊上愛，食甲膨篩篩。
雞公叫甲欲破喉，連雞母攏凍袂條。
閹雞看雞公決鬥，邊仔看戲伊上巧。
雞公：「我啼一聲，厝邊頭尾攏知影！」
閹雞：「你叫甲喙焦，我食甲腹肚飽飽。」
雞公：「我尾翹翹，雞母攏嘛共我看。」
閹雞：「雞母攏予你，飼料攏留予我。」
有款查埔人，講話行路像雞公。
拍某假聳鬚，出外囂俳攏覕咧藏。
假勇𪁎趒，人前臭彈講伊上𠢕。
雞核Sui一大盤，炒飯三分鐘就無效。
若欲像雞公遐秋，厝內工課做予到。
啼甲遐大聲，炒飯就變戆跤梢。
厝內無法閣飼查某，連狐狸精也咧投。
閹雞的尪仔，食Ｘ補Ｘ是豪洨。
男人：「今暗有夠熱，冷氣閣袂冷，實在予我心內足赤厭……」
女人：「你毋是食彼盤雞核，閣啉ＸＸ酒，我閣請假來陪你咧……」
男人：「歹勢啦，今仔日狀況無好，可是我對你是全心全意咧？」
女人：「彼天恁某共我嗆，講你閹雞無三分鐘擋頭，就算你是全心全意是有啥物效……雞公啼甲全庄攏知，若袂曉炒飯，不如像彼閹雞予我塞喙口！」
台語羅馬 (Taiwanese-Roman)
Iam-ke
Tshut-sì nn̄g-kó-gue̍h, lān-pha tō hōo-lâng kuah.
Tsū-tshú thinn-kng m̄-bián thî, ta̍k-kang khùn pá-pá.
Ke-bú bô--lih siánn-kông, tshī-liāu tiām-tiām-á tsiah.
Bián senn-nn̄g mā bián sio-phah, ke-tiâu-lāi sǹg i siōng hó-miā.
Ke-kang khiàu-bué tiānn-kāng pháinn, tshàu-phuì koh hiau-phai.
Tshī-liāu iam-ke i siōng ài, tsiah-kah phòng-sai-sai.
Ke-kang kiò-kah bue̍h phuà-âu, liân ke-bú lóng tòng-buē-tiâu.
Iam-ke khuànn ke-òng kuat-tàu, pinn-á khuànn-hì i siōng khiáu.
Ke-kang: "Guá thî tsi̍t-siann, tshù-pinn-thâu-bé lóng tsai-iánn!"
Iam-ke: "Lí kiò-kah tshuì-ta, guá tsiah-kah pak-tóo pá-pá."
Ke-kang: "Guá bué khiàu-khiàu, ke-bú lóng-mā kā guá khuànn."
Iam-ke: "Ke-bú lóng hōo lí, tshī-liāu lóng lâu hōo guá."
Ū-khuán tsa-pōo-lâng, kóng-uē kiânn-lōo tshiūnn ke-kang.
Phah-bóo ké tshàng-tshiu, tshut-guā hiau-phai lóng bih-leh tshàng.
Ké-ióng tshio-thiô, lâng-tsîng tshàu-tuānn kóng i siōng gâu.
Ke-hút suí tsi̍t-tuā-puânn, tshá-pn̄g sann-hun-tsing tō bô-hāu.
Nā bue̍h tshiūnn ke-kang hia tshio, tshù-lāi khang-khuè tsò hōo kàu.
thî-kah hia tuā-siann, tshá-pn̄g tō piàn gōng-kha-shiau.
Tshù-lāi bô-huat koh tshī tsa-bóo, liân hôo-lî-tsiann iá leh tâu.
Iam-ke ê ang-á, tsiah lān póo lān sī hâu-siâu.
Man: "Kim-àm ū-kàu jua̍h, líng-khì koh bē líng, si̍t-tsāi hōo guá sim-lāi tsiok tshiah-ia̍p..."
Woman: "Lí m̄-sī tsiah hit puânn ke-hút, koh lim ngû-pian-tsiú, guá koh tshíng-kà lâi puê lí leh..."
Men: "Pháinn-sè lâi, kin-á-ji̍t tsòng-hông bô hó, khó-sī guá tuì lí sī tsuân-sim-tsuân-ì leh?"
Woman: "Hit-kang lín móo kā guá tshiàng, kóng lí iam-ke bô sann-hun-tsing tòng-thâu, tiō-sǹg lí sī tsuân-sim-tsuân-ì sī ū siánn-mih hāu... Ke-kang thî-kah tsuân-tsng lóng tsai, nā buē-hiáu tshá-pn̄g, put-jû tshiūnn hit iam-ke hōo guá that tshuì-kháu!"
English Companion Poem
The Capon
Two months from birth, his Ｘ were snipped,
No need to crow at dawn, his sleeping hours unclipped.
He doesn't chase the crazy hens, just calmly eats his fill,
No eggs to lay, no fights to pick, a cozy coop to chill.
The rooster struts with tail held high, a mean and arrogant sight,
The capon loves his premium feed, plumped up just right.
The rooster screams until he’s hoarse, driving hens insane,
The capon watches from the side, a smooth and clever brain.
Rooster: "I crow just once, and the whole damn neighborhood awake!"
Capon: "Your throat is dry from screaming, while I feast on heavy cake."
Rooster: "My feathers flare so high, all the hens are hooked on me!"
Capon: "You take the nagging hens, my friend, I’ll take the grain for free."
Some men are just like roosters, all talk and flashy stride,
Abuse their wives at home, but on the streets they hide.
Pretending to be tough, bragging loud of what they’ve got,
A giant plate of rooster testicles, but three minutes is all they shot.
If you wanna act that cocky, do your 'housework' in order first,
Screaming like a big shot, but your bedroom game is the worst.
Can’t even keep a mistress, even she complains and sighs,
A capon husband eating Ｘ to fix his Ｘ — all goddamn lies.
Man: "Man, it's scorching hot tonight, the AC’s broken too... honestly, I’m getting so frustrated, I don’t know what to do."
Woman: "Didn’t you just crush that plate of testicles, and down that ＸＸ wine? I even took a day off just to make your schedule align..."
Man: "Ah... my bad, babe. Today my body’s just not feeling right. But you know my heart is all yours, pure and true tonight."
Woman: "Your wife trash-talked me the other day, said your three-minute fuse is blown. Who cares about your 'pure true heart' when you’re softer than a stone? The rooster crows for the whole town to hear, but if you can’t make fried rice (make love) — I’d rather take that capon there, and stuff it in my mouth for spice!"